1. We don’t let you get away with shit. Cancers are extremely intuitive—psychic, even—so we always know when you’re up to no good. Don’t bother convincing us otherwise—we see right through you.
2. Our “crabs’ shells” lend themselves to tenacious character. We may be over-emotional, but we’re also tough as fuck. An ostensibly benign fight may make us bawl like babies, but we know how to harden up when all’s said and done.
3. But, yeah, we’re sensitive. Very sensitive. So sensitive, in fact, that we feel we have to emote for the both of us. If you’re a balanced, impervious Libra, for example, we’ll often feel we have to emit ~feeling~ for two, which can be exhausting. But we can’t help it—us water signs, baby. We’ve got some leaden emotions.
4. If you hurt us, though, we’ll retreat into our shells—we’ll shut down. A wounded Cancer is an insular Cancer, indeed.
5. More often than not, our emotionality is a virtue. But, on bad days, our hypersensitivity gets the best of us, and we’re left overanalyzing/overreacting to every little thing you say and do.
suspicious imaginative. Hypersensitivity breeds jealousy, and we’re seriously prone to feeling green.
manipulative persuasive. We’re in touch with our desires, and we know how to get you on the same page.
8. We’re very romantic, and our fanciful love thoughts are often all too starry-eyed. We want a deep, lasting, passionate, devastating love. We want a Carrie and Mr. Big love.
9. Like a crab, when we feel threatened, we pinch—we can be seriously clingy. If we feel vulnerable around you, rather than distance ourselves or give you the space you may need, we’ll latch onto you even tighter.
10. And our shells, you’ll notice, are hard to crack (at first). We’re self-protective and defensive, so it takes us a while to lean into love.
11. Once we do, though, we’re all in. We love for keeps.
12. Underneath those hard, protective exoskeletons exist highly vulnerable people. Proceed with tact.
13. So we’re never the first to make a move. Despite our hard demeanor, we’re secretly terrified of rejection.
14. In virtually every other situation, though, we like to take charge. We’re highly opinionated, and we’ll never let you call the shots.
15. We’re mooooooody. Mucho moody. (Pro tip: you’ll never win by saltily identifying our sore moods. Just let ’em pass.)
16. We’re hella loyal. Once you’re in, you’re in.
17. …Seriously. We’ll do anything for you, because carefully nurturing our loved ones brings us unique joy.
18. So, when you’re having a bad day, you can pour all your anxiety, nerves, and negativity into us—we’ll gladly digest them into positive vibrations. It’s what we do.
19. We’re creative and expressive. We know how to articulate exactly how we’re feeling, and we don’t hold back.
20. We prioritize family and the home, so you’ll always be at the top of our to-do list. If you’re important to us, you’ll always be the most important thing. Nothing comes between us and the people we really love.
21. We don’t take well to criticism. You’ll find that we often overreact to anything less than loving praise—that’s just because our shells mask some seriously deep-seated insecurities. Bear with us. Once we really trust you, we’ll lighten up.
22. The “no criticism” thing applies to you too, though. We’re super protective of our loved ones, and we do not take kindly to outsiders’ criticism. If someone even thinks about tearing you down, we’ll bite. Hard.
23. We’re uncomfortable with strangers and unfamiliar situations, so the best way to put us at ease is to love us at home (or, at least, give us one of our favorite meals).
24. But we’re highly adaptable. Before we can really adjust to those strangers and unfamiliar situations, our shells allow us to exude false confidence, which often translates into the real thing.
25. We’re empathetic. However you’re suffering, we’ll do our very best to make you feel loved and secure. You can always cry on a Cancer’s shoulder.